Beautiful Complication

October 2006

Misery loves creativity
Creativity loves misery
Misery loves creativity
They’re good friends
You just need to understand the history…

Being in love
Is like having a song stuck in your head every single day

And its “Electric Relaxation” from A tribe Called Quest
It’s the perfect mix tape
Its that soulful catchy rhythm that brings you back to a better day
Its that cane swinging, birds chirping, blue sky melody
Its that funky beat that even sober kids feel like dancing to
Its the live version of your favorite hit
Its an instant classic the first time you hear it
Its that song on the radio you blast with the windows closed and no ones looking..........

Yeah, I’ve been in love
That mesmerizing, awe inspiring, perfect timing kind of love
That beautiful connection, constant affection, blinding kind of love
That late night movie watching, up all night talking, bottle of wine kind of love
That “baby close the blinds, close your eyes, this is about to blow your mind” kind of love
Its that beauty you can taste now
when life is good like a slow fade out...
When she gives one smile and wink and you’re suddenly walking tall
That “bro, pause this game I gotta take this call”
Straight from the heart with no need for games or lies
That wake up just to write 8 poems about her eyes
That feeling like your home the second you hear her voice kind of love
And screw bringing my A game she respects all of the above
That rainy day classic, relaxing drinking rum for breakfast
That “I’m a broke college student so please appreciate this Cracker Jack necklace”
Cuz I was thinking of her at the ball game when I got em
Feeling like life’s a cereal box and her love is the prize at the bottom

And I guess love is selfish in its essence
But that doesn’t change the way I melted in her presence
Hold your breath, I’ll hold you close
We’re dreaming like we’re comatose
But why does it feel like I’m just hugging the air?
Cuz when I awoke it appeared that nothing was there
Her scent on my pillow and a few strands of her hair
In the empty spot getting cold in the bed that we shared

And alls well it ended with 6 unanswered calls
A twitch in my neck and redecorated walls
Up all night just singing the song
Called where did I go wrong?

Having your heart broken
Is like having a song stuck in your head every single day

And its “who let the dogs out?”
Its an emo punk and techno mix tape
Its Now Thats Music volumes 1 through 534
Its "boom boom boom boom, I want you in my room"
It’s a Sher marathon on all over the radio
It’s the shittiest cover song that ruins the classic
It’s a tone def karaoke version of "Dream On"
It’s another country hit about a truck or a daughter

Yeah I’ve had my heart broken

That up all night wondering who she’s with kind of heart break
That loss of control suddenly losing grip kind of heart break
Unshaven putting holes in the walls, hold all my calls, I’m just restless
Growing compulsive and obsessive, jealous and possessive in my heartbreak
Sitting down sobbing on my lunch break
Feeling lost like a mob boss with no trunk space
Waking up next to a drunken mistake
I brought her to bed by 4, she was out the door by 8
Wishing that this dismal state won’t be around long
All day feeling like a shot gone down wrong kind of heartbreak
When times are getting tough, like a meathead liquored up
You vent to your best friends, but hell they don’t give a fuck
They say “She’s gone bro, its over, erase it, face it”
Yeah that’s easy for them to say, they’re still getting laid on a daily basis
When I was with her I would have crossed an ocean
But I guess awkward pauses often cause lost emotion

And as our fairy tale died, I felt hopeless ever after
So I turned to the page and closed another chapter
I guess destiny rang and I missed the call
Like quiet footsteps in the hall
and somehow I fit better in my shoes
when the world falls apart and I sing the blues
I think a smiling man doesn't have any wisdom,
That's why I keep the socks with the holes in em
If beautiful complication gives my inevitable train wreck speed
I think I'll just enjoy the ride, through dark clouds and squandered dreams
Cuz in the middle of my pain and loss of hope
I wrote the greatest thing that I ever wrote.

It went..
Misery loves creativity
Creativity loves misery
Misery loves creativity
Thanks for the inspiration baby
The rest is just history